| Author | Message | ||||||||||||
| Elderoz
Minnow Username: Elderoz Post Number: 18 Registered: 4-2009  Rating: N/A |
A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey, I have been asked to fly to Canada with my boss and several of his friends for fishing. We'll be gone for a long weekend. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been hoping for - so could you please pack enough clothes for a 3-day weekend". And also would you get out my rod and tackle box from the attic? We're leaving at 4:30 pm from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. 'Oh! And please pack my new navy blue silk pajamas.' The wife thinks this sounds a bit odd, but, being the good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. Following the long weekend he came home a little tired, but, otherwise, looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish? He says, “Yes! Lots of bass - they were hitting everything". He also asks, “ but why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked? You'll love the answer. The wife replies, "I did, they're in your tackle box". | ||||||||||||
| Nyyankee
Crappie Username: Nyyankee Post Number: 486 Registered: 8-2008 Rating: N/A |
One Saturday morning a man gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs his dog, goes to the garage to hook up his boat to the truck and down to the driveway he goes. Coming out of his garage the rain is pouring down: it is like a torrential downpour. There is snow and sleet mixed in with the rain. The wind is blowing at over 50mph. Minutes later he returns to the garage. He comes back into the house. Turns the TV to the weather channel and he finds it is going to be very bad weather all day long, so he puts his boat back in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed. There he cuddles up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible". To which she sleepily replies, "Yeah, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in it?" | ||||||||||||
| Ozziefish
Lunker Username: Ozziefish Post Number: 1412 Registered: 8-2004  Rating: N/A |
And there you have it... OzzieFish "Glory to GOD in the Highest" www.visionlure.com www.doublezzcustomlures.com | ||||||||||||
| Hawghunter08
Bluegill Username: Hawghunter08 Post Number: 128 Registered: 4-2005  Rating: N/A |
As she hits him in the head with a 9 iron | ||||||||||||
| Picou
Wall Hanger Username: Picou Post Number: 3715 Registered: 8-2004  Rating: N/A |
too funny.....  Thank you Lord for my family and the waters I get to fish
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| Elderoz
Minnow Username: Elderoz Post Number: 20 Registered: 4-2009 Rating: N/A |
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend And I had been dating for over a year, and so we Decided to get married. There was only one Little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful Younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very Tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She Would regularly bend down when she was near Me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to Be deliberate because she never did it when she was Near anyone else. One day the 'little' sister called and asked me to Come over to check the wedding invitations. She was Alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she Had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't Overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once Before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if You want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.' I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go Up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned And made a beeline straight to the front door. I Opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lord... And behold, my entire future family was standing Outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and Said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our Little test. We couldn't ask for a better Man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.' And the moral of this story is: ~ Always keep your condoms in your car (Message edited by elderoz on December 17, 2009) | ||||||||||||
| Ozziefish
Lunker Username: Ozziefish Post Number: 1414 Registered: 8-2004 Rating: N/A |
Yes...In the car... OzzieFish "Glory to GOD in the Highest" www.visionlure.com www.doublezzcustomlures.com | ||||||||||||
| Nyyankee
Crappie Username: Nyyankee Post Number: 500 Registered: 8-2008 Rating: N/A |
What about an old guy with a vasectomy? What he do? I'm goin' to the country, baby tell me do you wanna go? Well if you can't make it baby, your sister Lucille said she wanna go. (and I sure will take her). | ||||||||||||
| Elderoz
Minnow Username: Elderoz Post Number: 25 Registered: 4-2009 Rating: N/A |
Four guys have been going to the same lake for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire. "Hey man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?" "Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie. She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose pedals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did. And then she said, "Do what ever you want." ..... So, here I am. | ||||||||||||
| Ozziefish
Lunker Username: Ozziefish Post Number: 1418 Registered: 8-2004 Rating: N/A |
Spoken like a true fisherman... OzzieFish "Glory to GOD in the Highest" www.visionlure.com www.doublezzcustomlures.com | ||||||||||||
| Nyyankee
Crappie Username: Nyyankee Post Number: 508 Registered: 8-2008 Rating: N/A |
In my younger days i'd stay home, but that tang done lost its power over me. I'll get mine at east fork when i'm done fishin like Zeeter does - even got me a extra pair a creased up jeans in the cab for just such a cassion. |
